Mister British Man
by daphrose
Summary: Jade's not upset that Beck didn't follow her out after she burned her hand. She's not even that upset about Tori shoving raisin bran in his mouth. What upsets her the most is that a handsome, handsy British man didn't seem to take much interest in a sweet Alabaman farm girl. (Fluffy Bade one-shot; set the morning after "Sleepover at Sikowitz's")


**This story is for all the Bade fans that wished they had more interaction in "Sleepover at Sikowitz's." I've seen a few stories tackle the issue, but most of them just change what actually happened in the episode. I'm trying to build on the established story instead. This story is all fluff, which, admittedly, is not my strong suit. It's not an incredibly long story, and I'm not sure how well I wrapped it up, but hey! Pointless fluff is pointless, right?**

 *****(Check out the poll on my profile! I'll explain more about it in the A/N below, but if you don't ever get there, still check out my poll!)*****

 **Rated T for romantic interactions and a few mild swears. I'm being super-safe here. Also, you have my advance warning for my attempt at "Malcolm's" dialogue. Beck's Canadian, I'm American, and British slang is extensive and strange. XD I don't own Victorious or their characters. Plot is mine. Enjoy!**

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 **Mister British Man**

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Jade gritted her teeth and kicked her heel against her bed frame. It hurt like all hell, but it was momentary, and it distracted her from the not-momentary pain in her hand. She tucked her bandaged hand against her chest and blinked back the tears. She'd hoped a night of sleep would help, but it actually made things worse. Every blister had become an epicenter of agony. She pushed herself back into her pillows and snuggled up against them for comfort. The pillow on her lap provided a good resting place for her hand, but it didn't soothe the pain. She pulled out her phone and began to scroll through The Slap, searching for anything interesting. Her left hand proved to be far less effective at holding and using her phone, and it didn't take long before her patience worn thin and she resorted to watching a TV show on the small screen.

Someone knocked on her door. It must've been her mom coming in to check on her. Jade didn't feel like talking to her, but she couldn't exactly turn away her own mother. "Come in," she said sharply, hoping her visit would be short. She didn't even look up as the door opened.

"Well, aren't you a right pretty little bird."

That definitely wasn't her mom's voice. She looked up from her phone to see Beck at the foot of her bed. His hair was ruffled and unkempt, and he had a smile on his face. He was still wearing his clothes from the night before, minus the jacket.

"How'd you get in here?" she asked. She put her phone down on her stomach, but she didn't get up to greet him. She was still annoyed with him, and she wasn't afraid to let it show.

"Your mom let me in the back door." He dropped the accent now. Good. He knew it wouldn't help him. He moved over to the bed and sat down next to her. "How's your hand?"

"Burned." She narrowed her eyes at him—not quite a glare, but enough to let him know that she hadn't forgiven him. "Thanks for not following me out, by the way. You're an awesome boyfriend."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah. I guess I should apologize for that."

"Uh-huh. You might wanna get on with it."

"I'm sorry for not leaving with you. I got caught up in the method acting."

She sighed. "That was a lame excuse."

"I know."

"But I get it. Acting's your thing . . . your only thing, really."

He grinned. "Harsh. But I guess I deserve it."

"Did you at least win?"

He averted his gaze. "No. I think I might be starting to understand why you don't like Tori."

"See! I told you she's horrible."

He clapped a hand on her bare foot. "That was a joke, babe."

She sneered and pulled her foot away from his hand. "So why are you here?"

"I came to make it up to you."

"Yeah, well, I'm not in the mood." She pushed herself further back into her pillows, away from him. Away from his oddly charming bedhead and toothy grin and eyes that made her want to melt right into his arms. Ugh. Why did her boyfriend have to be so hot?

"Look," he said, withdrawing his hand into his lap, "I know you. You've had worse than a burned hand, and you _liked_ it. I figured you could handle yourself."

"I'm not upset about my stupid hand, Beck!"

Jade covered her face with her good hand, and Beck leaned back. She knew she'd confused him. She figured that. Beck was a good listener and wiser than most, but he was still a boy who could be painfully oblivious when it mattered most. Because, yes, he was correct. Her hand hurt, but she didn't care. It would heal, and she wasn't the kind of girl who needed her boyfriend to hold her while she cried over a paper cut or other minor injuries. Of course she would've loved for Beck to leave with her and kiss her bandaged hand, but whatever. Acting was his thing, and if anyone deserved to win Sikowitz's stupid acting game, it was him. She didn't care that he stayed. She cared about everything that happened before she left—or, more importantly, what didn't happen.

"Oh," he said with an exhale. She kept her hand on her face, not looking at him. No way he figured it out. "Is this about me and Tori?"

Well . . . he wasn't entirely wrong. He'd hit a sore spot, sure, but he hadn't quite figured out her biggest grievance with him.

"Jade, you've got to get over this. We were _acting_. It was all a part of my character."

"Yeah, a character who got handsy with everyone except for a sweet Alabaman farm girl!"

Jade moved her hand now and full-on glared at him. Hey, if he wasn't going to figure it out on his own, she would spell it out for him. He still looked confused, and she groaned.

"Wait, wait," he said, holding up his hand. "I touched you plenty of times."

"You tickled my chin. Once."

A thoughtful expression clouded his face. She savored the moment when the realization hit him and he buried his face in his hands.

"Jade . . ."

"But you had time to pull on Sizowitz's earlobes and play with Cat's hair and eating Tori's raisin bran right out of her hand."

"It was Officer P'Desko's raisin bran?" he said, flashing a pathetic smile at her.

"Fine. Malcolm Winchester Fizzenworth took no interest in Betty-Sue Golden-Heart and"—here she adopted her Southern accent again—"and frankly, she's a bit heartbroken about it."

"Is that so?" He said it in that indecipherable British accent. He slid closer and locked his gaze on her. She knew what he was doing. He was trying to smooth things over by being cute and cozying up with her. It wouldn't work this time.

"Stop." She said it in a commanding voice, and he obeyed. She wasn't going to play his games.

Beck reached out and picked up her bandaged hand. It did it so gently that she didn't protest. He kissed the back of her hand, softly, slowly. Her heart sped up in her chest and she suppressed a blush.

"Well, now, Miss Golden-Heart, you're simply blinding, you know that?" he said with the same accent, although slightly more intelligible.

"Beck, stop it."

"Who's Beck? I'm Malcolm, and I've taken a right proper interest in you, Betty-Sue. I'm bloody gutted about my cock up on the former night when I neglected to meet your pleasures, and I'd like the chance to make this situation hunky-dory once more."

"I mean it! You're not being cute, you know."

Without warning, he slipped one hand under lower back and the other under her knees and lifted her off the bed. He spun her around, and she squealed.

"Put me down!"

Beck moved his hand up her back, and then he leaned down and kissed her on the mouth. She kissed him back, but once he pulled away, she scowled at him.

"Well, Mister British Man," she said in her Southern voice, "I suggest you put me back on my feet before I punch you in the mouth."

"You're breaking character, love."

Beck had on one of those smiles that encompassed his whole face and made Jade feel warm inside. He set her on her feet, but he didn't let go. Instead, he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her body into his. She pushed back against his grip, but not hard. Her mind told her she shouldn't let him sneak his way to back into her heart, but her heart was more than willing to let him break down its doors.

Beck placed his hand on the back of her head and scratched her scalp. Jade moved her injured hand behind Beck's back and placed her other hand on his chest. If he wanted to make it up to her, she supposed she could let him. She might as well play along. It could be fun.

"Seems like Mister British Man has a romantic side," she whispered.

"You haven't the slightest idea," he whispered back. He squinted at her. "No, this is all off." He let go of her and took a step back. She stood still, disappointment flooding through her. She'd just began to get into their tryst. He scanned the room until his gaze landed on the cowboy hat on her dresser where she'd set it down the night before. He plucked it up and placed it on her head. "Jolly good." He traced a finger down her chin and leaned in to kiss her on the nose.

"Mmm, Beck . . ."

He put a finger to her lips and then squeezed them. She chuckled softly and stepped closer. He put a hand behind her neck before dipping her and planting a firm kiss on her lips. He pulled her back up, and they smiled at each other. She grabbed his tie with her good hand.

"You know, Mister British Man, you can invade my personal space any time."

"How brilliant. You're a fetching lass, m'love."

Beck pulled her close again, but she didn't get the chance to move her hand out of the way. She yelped when he pulled her too close and squished the wounded limb between them. He gasped and pulled away.

"Jade, I'm sorry!"

She cradled her hand to her chest and took a few deep breaths. She looked up into Beck's concerned face and smiled. "You broke character, sweetheart," she said. "And I'll have you know that Betty-Sue is as fine as a chicken coop after a spring rain!"

Beck's smile returned, and he walked up and wrapped his arms around her. She returned the hug, and they fell over together onto her bed. They ran hands through each other's hair and shared another deep kiss.

"Miss Betty-Sue Golden-Heart?"

"Mmm?"

"I fancy that I'm in love with you." He poked her cheek a few times and then stuck his finger her mouth. Jade bit down, not hard enough to hurt, but enough for him to draw in his breath and remove the finger.

"You do, huh?"

"Indeed."

She rolled on top of him and smiled coyly. "Well, that's good, because I seem to have fallen in love with you too, Mister British Man."

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 **Yaaaaaaaaay! Maybe I didn't write the best ending, but OH WELL! I have now learned that I love to write Bade fluff!**

 **By the way, according to the captions on the episode, yes, Tori's character's name is spelled P'Desko. Weird, I know. And yeah, I turned on the captions so I could catch their names and Beck's lines. Fun fact, he talked so fast I had a hard time pausing it to see what he was actually saying. Props to Avan Jogia for that accent!**

 **Okay, about my poll. My favorite episode is "A Christmas Tori" (don't judge me; sleepy Beck is adorable D:), and I want to write a Bade one-shot based on that episode. I would really love to do a more angsty thing, and try to explore** ** _why_** **Beck didn't call an exterminator or sleep in his parent's house or something when the cricket was keeping him awake for a** ** _month_** **. The only problem is, I can't come up with a good reason why he wouldn't do those things! I could, instead, just write pure Bade fluff with sleepy Beck and no intense emotional stuff (and no great mental effort on my part). I can't decide what to do! So on my profile, you can vote for either fluff or angst (or a mix favoring one or the other). Would you rather see an intense, emotional, secret-spilling story, or do you want pure fluffiness between the lovebirds? So go vote on my poll, or leave a review if you're a guest or want to explain your choice, or PM me if you have ideas. (And if you want angst and have any reason as to why Beck wouldn't call an exterminator, PLEASE help me! I'll give you credit if I use your suggestion!) The sooner you tell me what you want and give me ideas for it, the sooner I can get writing!**

 **Anyway, thanks so much for reading this fluff piece. I hope you enjoyed it, and I'm sorry if it wasn't great. Like I said, romance isn't really my genre (for either reading or writing), but I love Bade and wanted to give it a shot. Let me know what you thought! Liked it, didn't like it, want to see more? Reviews are always welcomed! Stay tuned for more Bade stories soon. Thanks, everyone!  
**

 **~ Rosie**


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